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COWWWWWWWWW
from her to eternity
Recent Malice 
8th-Jul-2009 10:18 pm - Gone...
grainy
I was just reading over some old LJ entries and there was a comment from my friend Kellijayne.

Kellijayne was a fucking awesome woman. She grabbed life by the balls and got what she wanted. She was a kick ass stage manager. She was a kick ass drinker. We had sleepovers in her North Melbourne apartment and listened to Fiona Apple and chain smoked and told secrets. She would tell me about how awesome Tasmania was and I always meant to go on a trip there with her. We worked together at Galactic Circus and after every shift we drank shit beer and smoked and it would take me hours to tear myself away and go home to Preston. We went to shows together, one time Paul McDermott tried to make us pash each other. When Michael and I broke up, she was fucking awesome. She led by example. She was fierce and strong and independent. She introduced me to Richard Cheese and I gave her shit for liking Tori Amos. She was beautiful.

In January of this year, I received a facebook message from someone I didn't know, informing me that Kaje had died unexpectedly of multiple brain anuerysms. She would have been 34 this year.. I couldn't afford to go to the service (it was in Tassie) but I hear it was beautiful. Her facebook page is like a shrine and her long-neglected LJ will always sit there untouched, for as long as LJ is around.

She had logged into MSN the day before she died and I thought to myself "should really catch up with Kaje, it's been too long". When I got the facebook message, she was still logged into MSN, but it was obviously too late for the catch up we both kept putting off.

I don't think I really spoke about it on here. And we weren't best friends, but she touched my life, and so many others and was an amazing human. I miss her.

RIP Kellijayne. I hope you are at peace somewhere beautiful.
5th-Jul-2009 10:14 pm - ...
COWWWWWWWWW
I was staring at the sky
Just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on
Or something like that

I was having a sweet fix
Of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew
Was a hopeless to be had

But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances were
Approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope

I said, "Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void"
He said, "It's all in your head"
And I said, "So's everything'" but he didn't get it
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold because these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
3rd-Jun-2009 06:34 pm - uni shizz
COWWWWWWWWW
Received the 'your application has been submitted and is being processed' letter today. Now I play the waiting game.

*twiddles thumbs*
25th-May-2009 06:56 pm - Blue
grainy
Where have all my friends gone
They've all disappeared
Turned around maybe one day
You were all that was there

Stood by unbelieving
Stood by on my own
Always thought I was someone
Turned out I was wrong

But you brought me through
And you made me feel so
Blue, why don't you stay behind, so
Blue, why don't you stop and look at what's goin' down

Live by an old woman
She'd never sell me a lie
It's hard to sing with someone
Who won't sing with you
Give all of my mercy
Give all of my heart
Never thought I'd miss you
That I'd miss you so much

But you brought me through
And you made me feel
Blue, why don't you stay behind
Blue, why don't you stop and look at what's goin' down
COWWWWWWWWW
You know the drill, right? I've whacked all the mp3s I have on my computer into winamp, selected 'random' and listed the first lines of the first 20 songs (discounting remixes and instrumentals) for y'all to guess at what they are. Whoever guesses the most correct songs gets a gold star*

1. They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no. - [info]mr_e_cat

2. We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight, and we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois' law enforcement community who have chosen to join us - [info]mr_e_cat

3. It's tricky when you feel someone has done something on your behalf

4. Please step inside, just for a while

5. It might not be the right time, I might not be the right one - [info]cadaverique

6. Don't want a four leaf clover, don't want an old horseshoe

7. The shine in your love is gone and you feel like it's been too long

8. Baby baby, baby don't leave me

9. I'm so happy 'cause today I found my friends - [info]slowlight

10. I'm in no mood to comb my hair

11. I love I love I love my calender girl - [info]mr_e_cat

12. Right now, right now it's time to... - [info]nazifagbot

13. Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin- [info]drzero

14. I don't feel alright in spite of these comforting sounds that you make- [info]bleeding_rose

15. The voodoo who do what you don't dare do people - [info]slowlight

16. Please don't reproach me for how empty my life has become - Liv!

17. Like the men that were before me, he said

18. I'll be late for that, baby I'll wait for that, if you had a taste of that, you'd probably pay for that

19. I love my mummy 'cause she fucked my dad

20. What would we do? Usually drink, usually dance, usually babble - [info]nazifagbot

*must supply own gold star
16th-Apr-2009 08:16 pm - Kiss me in the shadow of a doubt
COWWWWWWWWW
I have an inexplicable urge to buy the entire Sonic Youth back catalogue and then lock myself in a room with a bottle of gin and listen to them all in chronological order. I am uncertain as to what this says about my frame of mind.
15th-Apr-2009 08:43 pm - Welcome back, Cotter Internet
grainy
Haven't been on the LJs in forever. Moved to a new pad. It is simultaneously awesome and awful.

Mostly I just want to quit my job, register my kitchen for commercial cookery and bake some motherfucking cupcakes.

Oh, and if you are yet to hear the début Night Terrors record 'Back to Zero', I suggest you quickly locate yourself a copy and listen to it from start to end, because it's pretty fucking incredible, aight?
28th-Mar-2009 07:50 pm - iinet naked dsl question
COWWWWWWWWW
One for my nerd/iinet staff friends -

Naked DSL. For Gamers. Is it worth it?
24th-Mar-2009 10:22 am - Sombody...
COWWWWWWWWW
I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She will hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and with every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear
Of those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it

I always wished that someone would feel this way about me. I kinda love that that came true.
13th-Mar-2009 07:22 pm - Estranged
COWWWWWWWWW
Seeing photos of your estranged father on facebook is weird. Also, who the fuck do all those children belong to and when did all of my cousins get married?

I don't care for this at all.
27th-Feb-2009 07:30 pm - Marhaban
COWWWWWWWWW
In happier news, my new job should, at the very least, help me to learn some basic Arabic, Mandarin, Korean and Spanish, amongst other languages. That's kinda cool.
26th-Feb-2009 07:32 pm - me, i'm not.
COWWWWWWWWW
and it's happening
never planned on this
you got something i need
kind of dangerous
and i'm losing control
i'm not used to this
what you want from me?
i'm not used to this
can't seem to shut it off
this thing i've begun
and it's hard to tell - just
where it's coming from
and it's hard to see
what i'm capable of
and it's hard to believe - just
what i've become

hey
can we stop?
me, i'm not

i can swallow it down
keep it all inside
i define myself
by how well i hide
feel it coming apart
well at least i tried
i can win this war
by knowing not to fight
if i take it all back
some way somehow
if i knew back then
what i know right now

hey
can we stop?
me, i'm not
COWWWWWWWWW
As much as I like my housemates - I don't much care for my house. Besides which, I spend all my time at Gus' place anyway.

Fingers crossed it doesn't take a million years to find one.
8th-Feb-2009 12:28 pm - Baby's on fire...
COWWWWWWWWW
I woke up today to discover ants in my sugar and then I dropped a cup of tea which hit the ground with so much force that most of the tea splashed right back up and covered my face in a very slapstick manner.

Thankfully this is the worst thing that has happened to me in the last couple of days. The devastation from the fires in regional Victoria is awful, and my heart goes out to anyone affected (AFAIK I don't know anyone who has died or lost their home).
6th-Feb-2009 07:55 pm - Tonight...
grainy
One day we will wake up
wrapped in tender arms
make love in the morning
the veins, on dead leaves
will spell our names
lights of the sea, redeem all our crimes

all our previous crimes
all our previous crimes
oh I, I do not believe
believe in forgiveness, or setting suns
oh I, I could not conceive, your setting sun
there's no setting sun
there's no setting sun
there's no setting sun

I, want to live with you
I want you to stay
Stay with me, in my loving arms
I want to wake up with you
I want you to stay
Stay with me, in my loving arms
24th-Jan-2009 04:58 pm - Something Good?
more violence
Female, 25, seeks something good to hang on to and keep her moving in a forwardly direction.
2nd-Jan-2009 08:41 pm - 2009 had better be a good year.
grainy
Would you hold me tonight?
Would you stay with me anyway?
Would you love me and not my need to be loved?
Would you honor my wishes?

Would you trust me?
Do you really want to?
In the garden of delight
Will it be my bloom that still excites you?
And would you honor my wishes?

Will we ever meet again
In the house where we started?
Will I feel the suede of your skin
As you move to turn off the light?
Would you honor my wishes?
27th-Dec-2008 05:57 pm - Safe...
more violence
It's real early morning
No-one is awake
I'm back at my cliff
Still throwing things off
I listen to the sounds they make
On their way down
I follow with my eyes 'til they crash
Imagine what my body would sound like
Slamming against those rocks
When it lands
Will my eyes
Be closed or open?

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you
missmalicefantastico
Firstly there is Euchronia on NYE @ Trades Hall. Both Gus and I will be DJing and there is a wealth of awesome acts, bands, DJs and other delights. I can get you cheap tickets. Message me and I'll sort you out. It's going to be the place to be this New Years. You know it's true because I said so.


Then in January you should check out the launch party for the rad new fanzine Lolocaust. It's a worthwhile read and a worthwhile launch - the two man mesmerising rock that is The Hotel Wrecking City Traders, The punk-as-fuck Useless Children and the 'see them before they get known' alt country weirdo goodness of The Mirrormen. It's FREE ENTRY so get down and check out some of the great local talent our fine city has to offer.


AND THEN the event you have all been waiting for (just go with it, okay?), the return of Sugar Kitten Cabaret!

Taking Place at The East Brunswick Club on Saturday 14 February, 2009, Sugar Kitten Cabaret is a bi-annual fund raising event featuring cabaret acts, burlesque performers, belly dancers, musicians, MCs, DJs and other delightful types.

The debut Sugar Kitten Cabaret at Eurotrash Bar in September 2008 left people banging on the door demanding tickets to the sold out spectacular. With the assistance of many wonderful performers, sponsors and supporters, Sugar Kitten Cabaret raised over $1000 for The National Breast Cancer Foundation.

The sophomore Sugar Kitten Cabaret will take place on Valentines Day at The East Brunswick Club.
With double the acts, and double the love, the night will feature performances from those beloved grotesque burlesque divas The Voodoo Trash Dolls, stunning trio The Diamond Dolls, the adorable V Dentatas, en-pointe contortion from Miss Limber L'amour, awe-inspiring pole tricks from Mz Judgment, steam punk belly dancer Ma'isah (Raqs Gothique), and Bella Du Bois & Miss Jadess (The Tanquerays), plus more to be announced.

Not to mention the tonne of exquisite gifts for you to win courtesy of our wonderful sponsors. With music from PBS FM's Gus Exposition and Triple R's Clem Bastow overseeing the proceedings, this is bound to be a spectacular night.

And the best part? It's all in the name of raising money for WIRE (Womens Information providing free information, support and referrals to women across Victoria).

Tickets on sale now via The East Brunswick Club or Wildilocks @ The Lockworks

Verrrry limited seating tickets available, so get them while you can!




I guarantee awesomeness at all three events. xo
18th-Dec-2008 12:31 am - Empty
more violence
Empty house. Just me and a fucktonne of rubble. I really miss my cats.

I really miss my cats.
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